Understanding the Controversy: ABA and Neurodiversity-Affirming Services
Meeting Families Where They Are
When it comes to supporting neurodivergent children, the most powerful work begins with conversation and understanding. Listening to families, collaborating with professionals, and meeting everyone where they are in their journey creates a foundation for real, meaningful progress.
Families often begin their search for support feeling confused and overwhelmed. Professionals, too, may struggle to swap traditional approaches with newer, more affirming perspectives. The truth is…we’re all learning, and that’s okay.
Education and empathy go hand-in-hand. When we take the time to listen, provide balanced information, and offer support without judgment, families feel empowered to make informed decisions that align with their child’s needs and their family’s values.
The Bigger Conversation: ABA and Its History
Many families are first introduced to Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) when seeking services after an autism diagnosis. For decades, ABA has been considered the “gold standard” for autism intervention, largely because of its structured, data-driven approach to teaching new skills and reducing what are often labeled as “challenging behaviors.”
While some families report progress through ABA, particularly when delivered by compassionate and flexible providers, a growing number of autistic individuals and professionals have raised concerns. Traditional ABA often prioritizes compliance and “normalization” over connection and self-expression, leaving many feeling invalidated or misunderstood.
This has sparked a much-needed conversation about what truly supports neurodivergent children—and how we can balance structure with respect, learning with autonomy, and support with safety.
What Does Neurodiversity-Affirming Mean?
A neurodiversity-affirming approach recognizes that neurological differences such as autism, ADHD, and other developmental variations are natural parts of the human experience—not deficits to fix.
Being neurodiversity-affirming does not mean “no structure” or “no boundaries.” Rather, it means that boundaries are collaborative, compassionate, and supportive, built on a foundation of trust and co-regulation—not fear or compliance.
Neurodiversity-affirming professionals strive to:
Understand the why behind behaviors instead of trying to eliminate them.
Support regulation before expecting learning or communication.
Foster authentic communication—spoken, gestural, AAC, or otherwise.
Create environments where children feel seen, safe, and valued.
Empower families to understand and advocate for their child’s unique strengths and needs.
It’s also important to acknowledge that a child’s level of support needs directly influences the type, frequency, and intensity of services a family may want or require. For some families, that may mean consistent, hands-on intervention and coaching; for others, it may mean consultative support or collaboration between multiple providers.
There is no single “right” level of support; just the one that helps your child feel safe, connected, and able to grow at their own pace.
Collaboration Over Competition
Just as some educators and therapists are learning to become more neurodiversity-affirming by unlearning potentially harmful strategies and embracing more supportive, individual-centered practices~so are some ABA providers. This shift is important and worth recognizing.
We should always strive to meet families where they are and prioritize interprofessional collaboration over professional competition. Some families want and need ABA services because that is what’s available, affordable, and necessary based on their child’s and family’s level of support need.
Rather than dividing the conversation into “ABA vs. affirming,” we can work together to ensure that all services—regardless of their model—center on safety, respect, and autonomy.
The Overlooked Role of Speech Therapy (aka Communication Specialists)
When a child is diagnosed, many families are immediately referred to ABA programs. Unfortunately, this often overshadows the essential role that Speech-Language Pathology (SLP) plays in a child’s development.
Speech-Language Therapists (Pathologists) do far more than work on speech.
Our scope includes the full communication system; which is deeply connected to a child’s sensory, emotional, and cognitive world.SLPs support:
All forms of communication (spoken language, AAC, gestures, scripts, movement-based communication)
Language development, including analytic and gestalt language processing
Social connection and interaction through natural, meaningful experiences
Executive functioning, such as flexible thinking, problem solving, initiation, and communication-based task planning
Co-regulation and sensory regulation as they relate to communication breakdowns, frustration, and behavior
Understanding the communicative intent behind behaviors, including scripting, repetition, or movement
Play-based foundations for interaction, engagement, and shared attention
Parent coaching to support communication within daily routines
Collaboration with OT, ABA providers, teachers, and families to build consistent and supportive environments
When SLPs work from a neurodiversity-affirming lens, the focus shifts from “fixing” communication to supporting how a child naturally understands, processes, and expresses language, while honoring their sensory needs and their need for regulation. These therapies support the whole child and when combined with parent education and teamwork, they help families see steady, sustainable progress.
Choosing the Right Support for Your Family
Finding the right fit for your child is personal, and it’s okay if your path looks different from someone else’s. You can blend structure with compassion and still have boundaries grounded in connection rather than control.
When exploring therapy options, consider asking:
Does this approach help my child feel safe and respected?
Are sensory and communication needs being addressed?
Are therapists collaborating and consistent across settings?
Are goals built around connection, not compliance?
Is my child’s individual level of support need reflected in the plan?
Remember—progress should never come at the expense of a child’s emotional well-being.
Moving Forward, Together
The discussion between ABA and neurodiversity-affirming services shouldn’t divide us—it should guide us toward balance, compassion, and better understanding. Families deserve access to services that educate, empower, and evolve alongside their children.
By working together; families, Speech-Language Pathologists, Occupational Therapists, educators, and even behavior professionals—we can move toward a model of care that celebrates neurodiversity, supports regulation and communication, and nurtures every child’s ability to thrive in their own way.
Christina Beta, MA, SLP
Collaborative Minds Consulting
Supporting families, educators, and professionals in understanding communication, sensory regulation, and connection-based, neurodiversity-affirming approaches for neurodivergent learners.
